4/4

Tomorrow, my parents are bringing Hunter and myself back to New Orleans for his one week post op appointment. He can then go back to daycare on Thursday, then is off again Friday due to day care being closed for Good Friday. Who closes for Good Friday… Apparently everyone but the CPA firms when the tax deadline is less than two weeks away! So he will spend the day with his oh so very much missed God mother who will be in from Texas :)

Tomorrow, we will draw blood to be sent off for genetic testing. What a big life determining event for Hunter, and he has no idea. The results take about a month to come back. This is the beginning of our journey to finding out exactly what caused his hearing loss, which was diagnosed one year to the day, tomorrow, April 4th. Wow… I haven’t choked up since the doctor told me Hunter’s surgery went perfect. But this… the memory of that day, the thought of what the genetic testing will mean for him and for the future of our family. That gets me.

Tomorrow marks a year of growing for us. Lots and lots of growing. Growing pains, tears, laughter, togetherness with my little family of three, and lots and lots of love from everyone who surrounds us… and mostly by those we would have never met before Hunter’s diagnosis one year ago. What would we have done without the people in our lives who are there for us to offer advice, love and support, because they have once been there too. They have been in our shoes. They have shared in our pain, and they have shared in the little triumphs that only a parent of a child with a disability can really appreciate. When Hunter was first born, the doctors and therapists were telling us that he wasn’t holding his head up like he should. That there was a significant lag in trunk and neck control. Blair and I didn’t think anything of it really, we thought he was just too young to have such control. Then as the other 5 babies in our family were born last year, we would always comment on how strong each one of them was. One by one we thought they were just exceptionally strong in neck and head control. Little did we know, it was Hunter who was different… every baby apparently has good head/neck control by the time they are 6 weeks old.

Tomorrow marks a year of knowledge we have gained… it marks a year since the day that I first heard the word cochlear implant. And I feel so so guilty for never knowing of it before. What a miraculous thing. The cochlear implant is going to give Hunter a life we never thought he could have before seeing other children with CIs and talking with other parents of kids with CIs. I may not be the person I was a year ago to some people, but opening up my world to a whole new light has changed me. Some may think I'm not as readily available as I used to be (which comes with simply becoming a mother) and some people may judge the decisions we are making for Hunter's future. Our decision to stop the signing once he is activated is one that we made as a family. At times, we thought it might not be the right decision, and at other times we believed there was no other option. I guess what I'm trying to say here is everyone has their own uphill battles. They may not always show it on the outside, but this past year has made me stop myself from judging others on appearance or personal choices. Because they may have reasons that other people don't even know about. I have to take a step back and stop myself, because no one deserves to be judged. I'm not claiming to be perfect, I never will be. I am just striving to be a better person.
Once Hunter gets the outter part of the implant, I know people will stare. And hopefully I will be able to just smile back. I saw a girl in Target the other day with head gear for her braces. And I immediately smiled at her because it made me think of Hunter and because I know she probably isn't very fond of the head gear. But I am fond of cochlear implants, and I hope that I can smile when Hunter gets stared at in public. Because my baby boy, he was born deaf. And by the grace of God and the people he created, my baby boy will be able to hear. I already have a smile on my face.