More children?

So I keep getting the same question over and over… when are we having another child? I would love to have another child, right now. But it’s easier said than done. There are so many things to consider. There’s a 25% chance that any child Blair and I have together will have Usher Syndrome. 1 in 4. And the phrase “there’s always a chance you can roll the same dice twice” just keeps playing over and over in my head.

I can’t imagine Hunter not being able to experience having siblings. We have always wanted a big family, at least 3 children. And I know I am a healthy, (somewhat) young woman who was blessed with the opportunity to be able to have children, but the thought of putting another child through something like Usher Syndrome really puts us between and rock and hard place. Every moment that I spend with Hunter, all the ups and downs, they are all worth it. He has brought so much joy to our world that I could never imagine my life without him. Do I wish he didn’t have Usher Syndrome, of course I do! But it has changed all of us and will continue to change us in ways we may never have known that we needed to be changed. I hope this helps us all to become better people, because I know it’s influenced me to try and become a better person. It’s made me take a second look at my priorities, and really determine what should and should not be labeled a priority in my life.

My good friend, Brandi, lost her 2^nd baby girl, Avery Kate, to SIDS last November. All she had ever wished for her oldest daughter, Hallie, was to have a younger sibling. And in the blink of an eye, her dreams were ripped right from under her feet. She prayed and prayed for another child and became pregnant a few months later. Her 3^rd baby girl, Aubrey Kathryn was born this week, on October 2, 2012 and she is a beauty. She sent me a picture of Hallie holding Aubrey this morning, and I completely lost it. Brandi has had so much faith through this entire situation and has had to just let go and let God, and she has been a true inspiration to everyone around her. She is an incredible mom to all three of those girls, and she is a rock of a friend that I wouldn’t trade for the world. This morning she told me if I put it in God’s hands, he will show me the way.

I had contacted the priest that married Blair and myself a while back to meet with him and get his take on the situation. If we want more children, I want to know what he thinks is the best way to go about it. Another mom from Alaska emailed me this week. Ironically I remember her and her son from the Usher Syndrome conference in St. Louis, although I never met them. But a very cute blonde curly haired three year old was running around the entire time, and I just wanted to squeeze him. His mom decided to take in a foster child who is the same age as her son. How much fun is that?! But on the other hand, how much is involved in that? I have a friend from work who is unable to have children, and he and his wife are looking to adopt from China. What an amazing experience that will be for them. But what path should Blair and I take… that’s one answer I don’t have yet. And until we are sure which journey we want to embark upon, we will have to let go and let God. We will have to be open to His guidance and accept whatever it may be. One child or three, it’s not about what we have always wanted anymore, it’s about what God gives us and what he thinks we can handle.