The Mom Job

"Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do, and it will take you to your very limits sometimes. You cry, you hurt, you try, you fail, you work and you learn. But, you also experience more joy that you thought was possible and feel more love than your heart can contain. Despite all the pain, grief, late nights and early mornings your children put you through, you would do it all again for your children because they are worth it to you."

 

I am going to a retreat at the end of January with an AMAZING blog write, author and mother of a special needs child, Kelle Hampton. The name of it is Enjoying the Small Things. And she, along with two other women are putting on a retreat in Ojai, CA called Spark. 22 women, one room, and a weekend full of story telling, story writing, connecting and learning. It's intimidating for me to go on a trip with twenty something other women I've never met and sleep in the same villa with twenty something people I don't know from Adam. But I am looking forward to expanding my comfort zone. I am looking forward to sharing my experience as a mother, and I am looking forward to raising awareness about Usher Syndrome, something a friend of mine pointed out that I didn't even think about when signing up to go.

 

I felt guilty at first for taking the time away from my family for something that on the fore front looks like only I will benefit from. But I truly believe that the benefits will outweigh the cost of the weekend. I hope to grow in ways that I never imagined I would. I hope to come back a refreshed mom and wife to my kids and my husband.

 

I realize I am saying this with only 2 children tugging at me during their minimal waking hours during the work week, but it's still a hard job. I go from work at the office, to my job as a mom at home. And these days, my boys are attached at my hip. Poor Blair tries to distract them, but when you've got a teething one year old and a 3.5 year old who wants the same attention as his brother, it tends to wear your down. There are so many times when I wonder if I am making the right decisions for my children. And as much as I try to compare my decisions to other moms, it only wears me down more. There's no use in comparing because everyone's household behind closed doors is different. And I'm starting to realize that most of what we go through are normal age appropriate phases. And like my own mom used to say- this too will pass. And it's true. These exhausting nights and early (very very very early) mornings won't last forever. And the things that wear me down the most will probably be the things I miss the most in a few years.

Last weekend was the last bottle Harrison took. Blair and I always said we can't wait until we can just put the baby bottles away for good. And now that we have, I had a little moment of sadness come over me. Harrison turned 1 this past week, and I told Blair the other day that things seem to be getting easier in general with the boys, but I miss my babies. And since the bottles come with the babies, I guess I kind of miss the bottles sometimes as well....